Since I started the blog, I’ve always suspected and lamented that my love of fashion hasn’t exactly been congenial to a perfect relationship. I have bought up the subject of loved-up-couples having an equal amount of interest in fashion and being slightly envious that my past relationships have consisted of guys being dis-interested, baffled and just downright rude about what I love the most. Perhaps I come from the slightly pee-wee traditional school of thought that feels that sharing your passion with your partner in crime is an ideal scenario in a relationship. I personally don’t need the trauma of having to fight my cause everyday, defending my choice of purple tights and grey ankle boots combo or fighting about why I’m wearing a skirt as a dress…..
However commentors in the past have also bought up the counter-point of not really wanting their boyf to be too into their looks, falling into the trap of having a monstrous, preening, vain himbo. But is that really the fate of all guys who are into fashion? Now that the ‘honeymoon period’ of my current relationship is over and it’s over to being just regular girlf and boyf, I can honestly say that there is a happy medium.
(Pic taken at the Modular Party back in March when I was hideously drunk but happy and look who is holding my hand?)
Please don’t take this to be a ‘smug coupled’ blog post but rather, it’s my sigh of relief that I won’t be relegated to either getting derided for my love of fashion or having my outfit/shopping choices picked over by an overly-discerning manbo. Bless my boyf, he knows his Juergen Teller from his Terry Richardson, shares my admiration for the avant garde and deconstructed (Unconditional, Preen and Martin Margiela are his choice picks), thinks it’s cute that I rummage in vintage stores in a very studious manner and most importantly has given me a very simple to understand key to outfit approval:
1) ‘You look awesome!’ Translation: You look really cool but not necessarily sexy sexy.
2) ‘You look hot!’ Translation: You look attractive in that obvious way and…. is that the bed there? (excuse the racy statement…)
Perhaps he does keep the ‘Oh dear, what the hell is she wearing?’ cries to himself and I don’t know about it when he just says ‘You look awesome!’. The main thing is that there#s acceptance with either reply 1) or 2). After I had just about given up hope that I will forever be that clown that nobody wants to date…. well, I just want to flop down and say ‘Phew…’.
Ah, I’m really happy for you! My Mr F is similar in his responses and I’m glad your Mr B is the same – he’s just pleased to be with YOU whatever you happen to be wearing (or, sticking to the racy vein, not wearing) 🙂
Mrs F x
aw, that’s a great photo susie. 🙂 do you have a picture of your full outfit from the event? :3
Awww, you two look so sweet – eventho i don’t technically see him lol. He’s one lucky boy!
I wish I could convince my boyfriend that the world of style doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours a day picking and choosing clothing. He refuses to wear anything but his cut off shorts and his favorite band tees. He sometimes thinks my fashion choices are a little strange, too. He has a lot to learn!
Mrs Fashion: Lucky Mr F too…
Sarah: I actually posted this outfit here:
http://stylebubble.typepad.com/style_bubble/2007/04/easter_is_reall.html
Except my photos are rubbish. The photo was taken by Alastair at Dirty Dirty Dancing…. very flattering lighting me thinks…
Lili: Actually if you rummage through the archives, there’s a v. old photo of the boyf here
http://stylebubble.typepad.com/style_bubble/2006/11/its_reiss_time.html
Meltem: Keep the persuading…; ) He’ll learn…
Oh Mr B is the boy you work with??! Awww!
My BF isn’t into MY fashion, but he does his own thing which is fine by me as long as he doesn’t interfere with what I wear. We only clash heads over shoes – he’s shorter than me so when we are together heels are banned, which is a NIGHTMARE in a going out situation, as heels maketh the outfit for me.
Well Bubble, there are men who know some things about fashion, but aren’t “manbos” and I think it is important for you to find one (as you apparently have)and reach a consentual agreement (over clothes of course). I’ve found problems with women interfering with my sartorial choices and it is never good.
Dressing is really more complicated than it would seem. I dress for myself, my peers, other men, other women, the important woman all at once as does everyone else I suspect. So that important woman is only part of the equation.
Anyway if your personality in real life is anything like what comes through in this blog you should have no problem finding a date regardless of what you wear (or don’t).
awww! finally a peek into the bubble world x
Well, yes, an “in between the two options” guy would be amazing, I’m glad you found one 😉 My boyfriend just isn’t into fashion at all, he just buys cloth when he needs them, although when he buys cloth they don’t turn out to be too bad, actually.
But he thinks I look like a crazy freak most of the times, which really shows he has NO idea about fashion since I’m dresses rather normal most days
the other day my bf called me. “i bought some things,” he said. i asked him for details. “white diesel jeans and two tank tops from american apparel.”
needless to say, i love love love him.
Ahem Susie, are you having an affair with my boy? Isn’t it lovely when your boyfriend *gets* fashion? Mine is almost too good to be true. In our early days he was listening to me and a friend discussing shoes. She wanted to know where to buy Marc Jacobs and before I could utter a word he jumped in with “Liberty, Selfridges, Souvenir, Harrods, Matches…” while we sat open mouthed. Transpired he has always gone out with fashiony types (stylists etc) so knows his girly fashion labels inside out. He’s very good at buying presents too. The downside is he’ll happily spend a grand on a Margiela coat and then spend a week loudly regretting it.
wow~ really gorgeous photo!
Aww, susie, you are definitely not a freak who will never get a date. You are an amazing person, if susie_bubble is who you are in real life. Do not worry, the way you dress is just another part of you, love means acceptance, and your style is part of your package to be accepted.
hi, i came across your stylediary profile & i absolutely love your style. you inspire me. =]
ah splendid, and he wears the casual tie too… that’s lovely!
Awww, you two are so cute together…and it’s really great that he understands the fashion side of your life 🙂 Good for you, Susie!
you and your bf are so cute even though his face isn’t present in the picture. you looks very happy and i love they way you wear your clothes. whenever i wear my clothes diff. from other the boys esp look at me like what the hell are you wearing. plus everyone thinks going to thrift stores are disgusting. well those people are disgusting to me. 😛 haha
i think that’s fantastic. i have not yet found my happy medium but your post encourages me to hope hope hope…
AHH! What a cute cute post. And I always had a secret fantasy that when you were blogging about the ‘boyf’ that it was the coworker you took a pic of and it is! Like somehow you always fancied him and taking that pic was just a way of getting him on the blog! Rah i love sweet office romances! Is it wrong that I had built up that little faux scenario in my head?! oh well. I think ultimately what this is about is a boyfriend who understands (y)our passions and encourages it and no matter what you’re into, the rarity of that sort of find.
I *adore* DDD’s pictures. I want to put them on the wall. I love the way gestures are expressed and fixed for everyone to look at. This is such a cute picture, Susie!
I think everyone wants to be fancied by his boyf, but I also think that it’s important to stay true to yourself. So having found a happy medium is perfect I guess. My boyf is so totally not into fashion, though I totally am. lol But I do love him the most, so it’s okay. 🙂
That is the sweetest picture and you do look so happy. I’m glad you’ve found your happy medium.
J: Thanks for the ‘other sex’ perspective…insightful stuff.
Rollergirl: Hehe…your man sounds even more discerning than mine!
Nicole: Thrift stores. Not. Disgutsting. Period.
Ashley Churchill: Isn’t AA great for uniting guy/girl shopping…?
Thanks for everyone breathing my same sigh of relief….
Meg: Hehe…when I took that photo, I really had no inkling of what was to come…. he actually only just started then. But yes, it is a bit of a cheesy office romance…fantasy allowed!
I don’t necessarily think having a boyf into fashion is the be all and end all…. but for me, I guess because fashion is such a big part of my life, it does make things a tad easier…
Acceptance and respect for your style choices are way more important really…
I love this photo if only for how happy you like (drunk or no.) And the post itself comes across as very sweet, not gushy or smug at all.
oh such a cute foto!
It’s super that your man is also into fashion and understands and shares your enthusiasm for it! great minds think alike.
What a sweet post!
I don’t care if my parents or even girl friends roll their eyes at my outfits, but if my boyfriend had a problem with my imaginative outfits?
Definitely a deal-breaker. Congrats for finding a boy that loves your passion!
Mine is very good about understanding fashion (in that he doesn’t care about labels, but understands colour and composition as an artist), but has a few quirks I have to concede to – mainly that shimmery things or repeating patterns can put him into a deer-in-the-headlights catatonic state, so I can’t wear them. Also, he rates my sexy outfits by how large a battleaxe will be required to defend my honour from onlookers…..
I definitely sympathize with that feeling of frustration, of wondering if you will ever find a compatible person without compromising yourself. I’m so glad you found someone who really appreciates who you are, it sucks to feel like the things you like most about yourself are the things that stand in the way of relating to someone. Your uniqueness and creativity are too awesome, it would be criminal to waste them on someone who didn’t love this about you! (Okay, I just said the same thing 3 times, but… well, I really relate! I felt this way a lot when I was dating.)
My husband and I have a deal about the things we are interested in or passionate about. We learn enough about the other person’s interests so that we can talk to each other about them, and often we end up sharing the interests (though perhaps to a lesser degree). It’s added a lot to both of our lives, and has helped to make our love and friendship deeper and stronger over time.
I hope you and your boyfriend stay good together for a long time. 🙂
There’s hope for the rest of us too then!
=)