Ok, you can officially write me off as a complete lunatic as I participated in ….(be prepared to laugh hysterically)…. SPEED DATING tonight. In my defense, I was only there to make up the numbers as a favour to a friend and plus I thought it would be kind of fun seeing as I have no trouble chatting away to strangers for work. After talking to 18 guys for 3 minutes each, I came away dignified, happy and actually quite taken with a certain few! As I was walking home discussing the night with my friend who dragged me there, we got talking about how the way you dress affects how other people see you, a subject which we often delve into! My friend, being quite the chic pencil skirt wearing, form fitting clotheshorse that she is, carefully suggested that perhaps I should have worn something a bit more…*ahem* appealing to guys? She did not mean it as an insult in any way whatsoever, and it’s not something that I haven’t heard before. I am only too aware that some guys are put off by girls who take fashion very seriously and before you cry out in protest, I can even in fact see their point of view. Logistically, these guys might perceive the following:
1) You are clearly obsessed with shopping and lead a vapid life running up hugh credit card bills. If you were to be their girlfriend, could you be inflicting your spending habits on to them as well??
2) Fashionistas are haughty creatures, and guys could be thinking they are too-cool-for school let alone them, and all this added to guys’ own insecurities, looking too good can be seen as somewhat threatening and frightening.
3) They just don’t understand fashion itself. Dressing outlandishly and creatively may score points with fellow female fashion luvvies but with the majority of guys, the length of skirt, the bustline of a top and the tautness of clothing are all they need to know.
I’m aware few of us conform to these perceptions but we can’t ignore the fact they exist either. Perhaps, I could attract all sorts of dates with a tighter/more easy on the eye ensemble or conservative style consistency but I would be betraying my self and my style.
Now, I was sort of going for cute/fun/summer casual today with a Sara Berman bow top, a vintage wrap seersucker skirt and some Salvatore Ferragamo bow pumps. It was for me, a pretty uncomplicated easy breezy summer outfit. Yet a lot of the other girls went for very ultra girly or ultra sexy – floral tea dresses or tight tight pencil skirts. I didn’t feel particularly fashion-forward nor did I think my outfit was outlandish in any way but I still managed to stick out like a sore thumb. I got commented on for being very ‘different’ (for ‘different’, please read ‘freak’, ‘saddo’, ‘crazy’) twice and as I told them I was into fashion and shopping, a bemused expression popped up.
Conclusion? People may comment or make suggestions but unfortunately words may never break my wardrobe. I could never compromise or change my style to suit people’s tastes. However, nights like these are always food for thought. Something to bear in mind and perhaps reassure the opposite sex and put their fears and look-down-on-fashion smirks to one side.